Summertime. And the living is......well, it's living!

Our summer is halfway over, and I couldn't be more surprised.  Where did it go?  Oh, I remember now.  It went to sickness after sickness after sickness.  Gag.  There's just something very wrong about getting sick in the summertime!  We keep managing to do it, though.  We have recently battled 4 days of fever and an entire week of adenovirus with Barrett, two days of fever (likely the adenovirus) with Charlee, and now I seem to have contracted a lovely little (big) case of pink eye that more than likely stemmed from the adenovirus.  Yuck is all I have to say about that.  YUCK!  Going on day 5 of it, and I have had to stop the googling because everything I read says I could have this for 3 weeks or more.  I can not tell you how I will survive if it lasts that long!  I won't go into all my other ailments.  Oh how I can't wait to have my immune system back when this pregnancy is over.

Now on to the good stuff because honestly, who wants to focus on the bad, right?  Nothing that bothers me more than a pessimist!  :)

We had a wonderful visit with family last week for the 4th.  My brother and his family were down this way for a visit from Maryland, and my sister and her family drove down from Starkville to spend the day with us.  My mom was here, too, so we had a fantastic family day.  It's very rare that our kids get to have that fun cousin time.  I can remember with great detail the memories I have with visiting cousins because it was always a special occasion that didn't happen very often either.  Those kids played non-stop, and very few tears were shed, which is usually a miracle in my house!  Barrett did not want his cousins to leave, and he told me to put his carseat in my sister's van when they were leaving.  :)

I potty-trained Charlee two years ago, I think it was right around the start of this blog.  She was 2 1/2, and I probably would have tried sooner because she had been ready for a while, but she was in a class at school that didn't have facilities so it was pointless to try getting her to go at home when she couldn't at school.  Barrett was in the same class this last year, so I decided to wait.  Honestly, he has not been ready.  I'm a big proponent of waiting until a child is ready before you potty-train rather than forcing it upon him/her just to say you potty-trained your child when he/she was x months old.  Let's face it ~ it's just a headache on everyone when they aren't ready, and nowhere on their college application will it ask how early they were able to pee pee in the potty.  :)  Ha!  It does help to not have to buy diapers, though, I'll give you that.  I have been dreading it with Barrett, mainly because he's just so stubborn and I figured it would be a fight no matter when we started.  Well, I started last week, and it was a bit of a fight at first.  Even though he'd been going on the potty before baths, he wouldn't go anywhere near the thing when I wanted him to the first day.  I don't do pull-ups except at night-time and nap-time, so I slapped the big boy underwear on him (I use the Gerber training pants at first).  He liked them, but we were quickly running out of clean ones ~ yes, it was THAT kind of morning ~ so we just ditched them altogether.  If you are my friend on facebook then you saw that picture, but I'll put it here, too, just because it's cute. 

Finally, after almost a day of it, I switched the intended target to one outdoors.  True redneck style.  Low and behold, that was just the type of motivation he needed!  He loved going to water the grass and asked to go nearly every 4 minutes.  Luckily, I employed my little helper to go down the stairs of the deck with him each time because it was seriously wearing me out.  She's all about earning money, candy, anything really for chores or tasks lately, so she was more than eager.  When Chandler came home that night, he brought an old planter onto the deck so that Barrett could go in the "bucket" instead of going up and down the stairs every time.  He has done remarkably well with the bucket!  The poop is not there yet ~ shocker ~ but he has been saying, "I go poo poo on the toilet" and trying to go at least 8 times a day.  That's progress!  He really tries, too, and went three days without going at all because he still can't figure out how to do it yet.  He had an accident last night, though.  He's right back to trying today, and he's all about earning a bouncy ball from Wal-Mart when he does finally go.  That's all he talks about!  And when anyone else in the house poo poos on the toilet, he says, "Let's go Wal-Mart, get you bouncy ball!"  Haha!  I really am excited about his progress.  He's doing so much better than I thought he would!  We haven't had to leave the house for much in the last week, and this week is looking to be uneventful as well.  Next week, however, we are hitting the road (pending the outcome of this pink eye situation), so pray that all goes well!  Leaving the house during potty-training, and even for months after, is quite scary!  Especially when your kid is only peeing outside.  Gonna have to work on that this week.

Look at these cuties:

Belly Blue....or Pink!

I didn't ever do it with my other pregnancies, so I thought I'd do the belly pic thing this time around.  I've been trying to take one every week since week 18, but my photographer was out of town one week.  It's funny how much bigger you feel than what you actually look like.  I guess that's a good thing??  I'm not scared at all to admit my weight gain to date, though:  25 lbs.  Yep, I enjoy my time as a pregnant woman as much as I can.  Well on my way to the normal 50 I put on with both of the others.  It all came off, though, so that's what matters, right?  :)

The heartburn is starting up a bit so I'm having to watch what I eat in that respect.  Pretty glad I stocked up on all of that 99cent Zantac when I had the coupons for it.  It's funny how your cravings work differently with each pregnancy.  With Charlee, it was salty chips, Mug RootBeer, and Chic fil a chicken minis.  With Barrett, s'mores, chicken minis, sandwiches, and Hardee's biscuit & gravy.  This time, McDonald's sausage biscuits, potatoes of any kind, and I would eat an original chicken sandwich from Burger King every day if I let myself.  I haven't even eaten at Burger King in several years.  Crazy!  Yes, wonderful diet of mine.  I know.  Don't worry.  I eat other stuff, too.  :)

We decided not to find out what gender this baby is until the sweet thing makes his/her appearance.  I never thought I'd be one who could do that, but it hasn't been hard at all.  I almost caved when I had an ultrasound yesterday, and if Chandler had been there to tell me to find out then I may have.  I was strong, though, and told the technician to turn the screen where I couldn't see it while she did all of the measurements.  She turned it where I could see the face when she was done.  Baby was sucking his/her thumb and trying to hide from us.  :) 

Anyone who knows our history with naming babies knows that our having to come up with a boy name AND a girl name is going to be quite the undertaking.  Sure hope that hospital room has a whiteboard and Expo so we can narrow down our choices before they make us leave on day 4!  Doctor plans to schedule 3rd c-section for 39 weeks, or around Oct 22nd.  C came at 38 w 5 d and B at 38 w, though, so we'll see!

18 weeks

20 weeks

21 weeks

22 weeks

These little monkeys like posing each week, too.

I totally wish I could share Chandler's belly pics with you, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make it to week 23. ;)

Everybody talkin bout Heaven ain't goin there

Almost every single day, my mind runs across an idea for a blog post.  I love blogging because it's a way to unload all of that information and it's a form of therapy and reflection for me.  Unfortunately, my time (and children) rarely permit me to post all of the ideas in this noggin of mine.  Hopefully one day I can give it more time, because I love it, but for now I'm happy with my lot in life and would rather be spending time with my kids (or napping ~ hey, I'm pregnant!).  All that to say that today's post is something that's been floating around in the space between my ears for quite some time.  It keeps coming back in, so I'll let it fly out today.  One kid's in a benedryl coma, and the other's fixing me a snack in her play kitchen.  :)

What is your view of heaven?  What do you think it will be like?  Me, I've always pictured it as a beautiful, golden place full of singing, happy people who have been reunited.  God and Jesus are both sitting on thrones, but I've always thought of heaven as more about the people with whom we'll spend eternity in perfect health, with perfect relationships, perfect bodies, everything perfect.  I'd get to see my grandfathers and some friends again, and maybe even get to have conversation with some of the famous Bible people.  Picturesque, right? 

A friend mentioned to me once that her heaven would be full of animals because she loves animals.  And some people may think that it'll be like living in a vacation with beautiful blue waves crashing on the white sandy beaches.  Or what about an eternal day at the spa, with massages and pedicures at every hour on the hour.  For someone with a physical handicap all their Earthly life, heaven may be an eternal marathon where he can run and run and run, something he's never before experienced.  A kid may think of heaven as Willy Wonka's factory, full of chocolate rivers, lollipop forests, and roads graveled in Nerds (I could totally get used to that ~ ha!). 

There's a problem with all of this, though.  We make heaven about us.  Like we deserve it.  While I can't give you many specifics about what it will be like, I can assure you that you won't be the center of it all.  Neither will I, or any other man or woman that has ever walked this Earth....except ONE.  Only by the mercy and grace of God will we be able to experience anything other than death, and while I am most certain that heaven will be grander than anything I've ever even thought about imagining, I know for a fact that only He and His son will be at the center of it all.  There may very well be all of the things I listed in the previous paragraph, but I choose to focus on the fact that I'll be there with Jesus and His Father, MY Father, and I will FOREVER praise and glorify them!  WOOH!  Gives me chills to think about it.  Truth be told, I could care less if there's anything there that I deem on Earth as "heavenly".  His heaven will be so much more than my feeble mind could attempt to picture.  He loves me, loves you, and He will have the most spectacular place for us, but as true Christians, our heart's desire should be to eternally praise Him for who He is, what He's done, how He's loved, what He deserves.  Let's focus on THAT instead of what we think Heaven will be like or even who we will see there.  We get to worship God, the Father, and ALL His glory!

Eternity will be spent with those we've loved and known who are Christians, I have no doubt.  I also firmly believe that we will know them from Earth, only with a new, more perfect understanding which will enhance our relationship.  I also think that all of those "did Adam have a belly button" questions we've been thinking about all of our earthly lives will immediately be answered and we'll just know.  Of course, who will care about such trivial things when we're in the presence of the Most High?  We won't be ALL-knowing, because only God is omniscient, but our knowledge and understanding will be so much greater than it is on Earth.  We will spend eternity learning more about God.  Can you imagine how much there is to know that even with an eternity we will never fully know?  WOW!  And we will see Him.  FACE.  TO.  FACE....

I recently read a sermon in which the pastor talked about a study at an Ivy League school that indicated that a baby's experience at birth is highly traumatic and is more than likely the most traumatic thing they will go through in their lives.  (Good thing their memory ain't that great at that point, huh?)  The trauma is likened to the trauma of death.  He goes on to say that just as a baby knows no other surroundings other than the womb for the first 9 months (give or take) of its life, we don't know the surroundings outside of our lives as humans until we die.  Think about it....  A baby doesn't have any clue that there's the Grand Canyon out there, Niagara Falls, a sun, a moon, stars, any other tremendous beauty or wonder, because he can't see it nor can anyone tell him about it.  He only knows the comfort of his mother's womb.  Can you imagine the vastness of heaven in this respect?  As if we are still in a womb and must die to get "out" into our eternal world?  Pretty cool way to think of it, huh?  Why do we mourn, then, when loved ones who we know will spend eternity with Jesus enter into this new "birth"?  Do we mourn at a baby's birth into this life?  I guess it depends on the baby's parents, right?  KIDDING!  Kinda.  ;)

It's still hard to lose someone, though, and I'm not saying we shouldn't mourn the dead.  It's our human instinct to do so.  It's part of the reason there is pain in this world - pain that came when sin entered the world so many years ago.  We should take comfort in knowing that we'll see them again if we know that we will.  If we don't know if we'll see a loved one again when we die, we should press that issue with an urgency like no other while we still have time.  We tend to comfort ourselves with the idea of seeing a loved one again in heaven, but we shouldn't think that will be the epitome of heaven.  I read about old-school Calvinist clergy who would assert that in heaven, a husband "would be so enraptured with the Lord Jesus that [his wife] might be at his side for ages before he would think of looking at her.”  Can you imagine?

The Bible doesn't lend much description of what Heaven will actually be like, but we do know that "..No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Cor 2:9.  I don't know about you, but that makes me pretty excited!  And for those envisioning the beach and ocean in heaven..."Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea." Rev 21:1.  I mean, I'm not saying there won't be a beach, maybe the passing of the sea is a metaphor or something, but I bet there will be something way more glorious and awesome in our new heaven and earth to entrance us.  :) 

Praying right now that everyone who reads this will know that they know that they know that heaven is in their future.  If not, cry out to God before another second passes.  He'll show you how to fix that so we can hang out in the afterlife.  Oh look!  My snack seems to be ready.  :)

The Difference Between Boys and Girls

When a girl falls and gets the slightest itty-bitty scratch, she will cry for 5 minutes, then she will be upset again later when said scratch is exposed to bath water. A boy falls down a set of brick stairs, scratches his leg and knee up to the point of bleeding, then gets up, catches his breath, and gets back to playing (ie: torturing his older sister) without a single shed tear.

A girl will back down, cry, and continuously apologize when you begin to sternly correct her. A boy will spit, shout "NO!", run away from you, and sometimes bite if you attempt to infringe on his "fun".

Balls, motorcycles, tractors, airplanes, and all things motorized are the center of a little boy's universe. Barbies, dress-up clothes, tea sets, make-up, and doll houses are what a girl chooses to spend her time with.

A boy will eat just about anything you put in front of his face, and he'll need to eat quite often to curb any meltdowns. A girl will be picky just like her momma 9 out of 10 days, and then totally surprise you when she cleans a chicken drumstick down to the bone and then asks for seconds.

Clothes are important to a girl as she wants to change them multiple times during a day. A boy would rather run around with his belly button hanging out, but only after he has covered every inch of his clothing in dirt or food or who knows what.

  A little girl gives love and kisses to her mommy, daddy, and brother. A little boy shows the same sweet affection. :)

DISCLAIMER #1: This list may or may not be indicative of your experience with boys and/or girls. I can only vouch for my two examples. List is subject to adjustment in a few months. We'll have to wait until then to find out which gender will outnumber the Castle house and to put these rules to the test!

DISCLAIMER #2: There are exceptions to every rule.....

Never Say Never

In the singing voice of one Fievel Mousekewitz, "Never Say Never". That's right. I can't tell you how many times in the last two or three years I've watched myself do something I said I would never do. Isn't it funny how you chew up your words as you get older? My first realization was on my 30th birthday. It was a time of reflection over the last ten years of my life, and I was flabbergasted at how I had become one of the dorky 30-year-olds that I had seen as a 20-year-old. I was so much smarter than those old folks way back then. What's funny is how stupid I really was and how those folks were way wiser than me, I just couldn't see it. I won't get into the specifics, but just take it as scene one of my trek into the "never" land. :)

There are so many other things that have changed in my views and in my life lately. The deeper I get into The Word of God, the more I realize that all of those things (again, I'm not going to get specific) I used to think were silly and didn't matter have totally taken on new and profound meaning. The reason I won't get specific? Because most of them are considered "radical" thinking in today's society. Some of them are even considered old-fashioned. I'm just not into sparking a debate through this post, so I'm not going to mention what they are. Just use your imagination. Funny how God will change your mind on things to align with what He says. For too long I was oblivious to what The Word said about certain issues because I took what people around me believed to be of more relevance. The truth is, though, that God's Word is and always will be living and totally relevant to our day and time no matter what day and time that may be. It is not antiquated and it is definitely not a suggestion. Now, some of you may tell me that how I interpret different passages may be different then the way you interpret them. Totally true when you're looking at specific verses. The way to interpret the Bible, though, is not by picking one verse and using it to support your view on any given issue. Instead, you read the Bible and let God speak to you through the words on the page (believe me, He totally will shake up your world) and evaluate its entirety. Every book goes together and shapes a beautiful picture. There is so much there, and every time you go into it you see something amazingly relevant to your day and your lot. No coincidence there, I assure you. Don't take scripture and use it to confirm your beliefs or condemn another person. Put aside your beliefs and let the scripture speak to you and transform you.

It's become a pretty significant thing to me when I hear Christians say that they believe certain things are okay even though God has shown me complete opposition through His Book. It takes a lot to not say anything. I know I probably should. Instead, I just let their words punch me in the gut, then I move on and recall the day when I used to say the same thing even though I was a Christian. You see, folks. Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I've always had it all figured out. Doesn't even mean I'll EVER have even half of it all figured out. It means that God will sanctify me, perfect me, through every circumstance of my life........IF I let Him. It's all about surrendering, though, and I wake up every day and wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure out how to do that or even that I was supposed to. So incredibly glad that He is made perfect in my weakness. Praise the Lord for that! He's got a whole lot to work with in that department.

On to my next point.....if you ever plan to have children or even if you currently have children, please, please don't ever say, "I will NEVER own a minivan." I can almost guarantee that the very utterance of that statement will ultimately seal your fate as a minivan owner within the next 8-10 years. Guarantee. #1 Case in point ~ Me. #2 ~ Chandler. That's right, folks. We're the very proud new owners of a minivan! {Sigh} If my 20-year-old self could see me now.....

ask and it shall be given unto you

I had every expectation that this blog page would have been removed by now. I mean, it's been THAT long! Sorry about that. I know you've been on pins and needles wondering how those crazy Castles have been. ;) Oh, you haven't? Well, indulge me anyways, please. Ha!

We survived the holiday season ~ yes, the "holiday" season. I can say that and not mean a politically correct description of Christmas because our holiday season DOES include Christmas, but it also includes an anniversary and two birthdays. All within 3 weeks of each other. We're crazy, I know. Anyways, we survived the season, and had a wonderfully exhausting time celebrating our marriage, our 2-year-old, our 4-year-old, and most importantly our King's birth. I will (hopefully one day) get around to posting at least pictures about these wonderful events. That's actually why I haven't blogged in so long. I got a touch overwhelmed with how far behind I had gotten. I gave in, though, and am just going to start with today and fill in where I can.

Back in January, I was so blessed to be a part of a mission team from my area that went to Upala and Cana Morena Costa Rica. That will be another post that I'll (hopefully) get around to writing. On the trip, though, God showed me that He wanted me to be uncomfortable and concerned for a dear friend of mine. I don't know where she stands and what kind of relationship (if any) she has with Christ. It hurts my heart because I am a big ole fat coward and won't just ask. Anyways, I felt the pressure while I was there, and ever since I returned home I haven't known what to do or how to handle the delicate, yet highly important, issue. It's funny, because it's taken me almost two months to realize that it's not up to me to do anything. I've been trying to figure out what "I" can do, how "I" can approach it, but haven't cracked through my thick skull to realize it's not about me and what I should or could do. Today I focused on a verse in James that says to simply ASK GOD for wisdom. You've got to have full faith and belief that He will give it to you, though, or there's no point even asking. That really sunk in today, and I realized that I've been trying to figure out what I can do and how I can approach the subject, but it's not about me and anything I may or may not be capable of doing. It's all up to Him. So, I asked God today. I asked for full wisdom in the situation and what I should do. Later, I heard a quote from Tim Tebow about his transition to the NY locker room. The reporter asked him how he would share his faith in a place like New York, and how he would share his faith in the locker room. He basically said his faith is his life and he would live it no matter where he is. It's who he is, not words that he would say. So, while I've been trying to figure out what I would say, how I would bring up the subject, I feel like God is telling me to live out my faith in Him and that He'll do the rest. Am I saying there's not a time when we speak it, witness, whatever you want to call it? Absolutely not. But, if we are close to someone, then our number one way to share our faith is by living it out, not hounding them with twenty questions about where they stand with God and then turning around and living a life of the world. If they see in us something they want for themselves, then can't God use that to start an amazing thing for them? And, again, who am I to do anything remarkably close to saving someone on my own accord? The Holy Spirit is the only one who can save us, transform us, and make us new. I don't play any part in that other than being a vessel that God can use. I pray I'm that vessel and that God will use me in spite of my inadequacies. Oh, what a large responsibility to open yourself up to be used by God. But, oh what deep and wide rewards He will bless you with! And, you're never at it alone. Never. He is always with you. Beautiful promise right there, and I cling to it daily.

So, dear friend who's out there, and will remain nameless.......my prayer is that God will shake your very core with a thirst for His truth and that He will prick your heart with His Spirit so that you'll never be the same. Because I love you, and I know that you're are an amazingly awesome, good person, but that's just not enough without Christ's saving grace.

Whew! I feel better now that I've blogged. :)

Evel Knievel

Now that the shock and awe has worn off a little bit, I guess I'll go ahead and chronicle this one so I don't lose it.

On a beautiful fall morning a couple of weeks ago, I decided that it would be a fabulous idea to open a few of the windows in the house to let in some fresh air. Chandler was outside mowing the yard, I was inside cleaning, and the kids were running back and forth from window to window watching Chandler mow. I saw the kids push one of their little Pottery Barn chairs up against the window, and Barrett was standing in the chair and leaning on the back of it to see out of the window in the living room. The living room windows are pretty much second story windows because we have a basement, and are probably 13 or 14 feet off of the ground. You can probably see where this is going.....

At one point, I made the kids move the chair away from the window because I thought for a split second that the screen could pop out. This is the point that I should have closed the window. I didn't, though, because I thought, "That could NEVER happen." Chandler was outside, down below, and he yelled up for the kids to get back away from the window. The same thought crossed his mind, but he shrugged it off like I did. I was starting a load of laundry in the laundry room, which is right off of the kitchen, which opens up to the living room, when Charlee came running in the kitchen saying, "Bubba is not okay! He fell!" I immediately knew what had happened. A choice word came to my lips, but somehow it didn't come out. Good thing since Charlee was right beside me. I hurled myself down the steps of the deck to find my sweet little man lying on his back in the grass screaming. He's screaming ~ thank you Jesus. I began screaming Chandler's name. He wasn't responding, so I ran around the house with Barrett. For a split second, I thought I may should leave him on the ground and not move him for fear of a neck or back injury, but I could not leave him down there. As a mom, you simply have to hold your baby when he's hurting. It's instinctive. I found Chandler, told him what happened, got myself decent (ie ~ put my bra on. i know, i know.), and we were in the car and on our way to the hospital in our pajamas. Charlee was very calm the entire time. She started tearing up when we got back to the exam room, but I handed her my phone and she watched a movie on it and was fine.

There were probably 8 people ~ doctor, nurses, staff ~ in the exam room when we first got there, and they were all just looking at Barrett. Watching him. He was still hysterical, but the sweet thing never threw up, never showed any signs of concussion, and seemed to be okay. He didn't act like any part of his body was hurting, but we wanted a CT and chest xray to be sure there wasn't something we couldn't see. I wouldn't have felt right not doing it, but he was not really into having his arms bound and being passed through a big ring with a laser light. The scan wasn't the best because he didn't want to be still, but from what we could tell everything looked fine. Next came the chest xray. I won't even go into the details of the torture device that they put him in to get a good look at his chest, but let's just say he wasn't really a fan of that part either. Poor thing had already had a traumatic enough experience, and now he had to go through even more! Totally necessary, though. I wanted to know that he was okay. And, like the CT, the xray looked great. No broken ribs, collar bones, nothing. We went back to the exam room and it didn't take long for him to calm down. He was playing, smiling, talking, and ready to get on with his sweet little life. The doctor wanted to keep him for a couple of hours for observation, but after that time, he released us and told us to just watch for signs of a concussion.

We came home, had lunch, played outside. Barrett was a little tired and irritable, but nothing unusual for what he had gone through that morning. I put him down for a nap around his usual time. As soon as he laid down, he was out. I woke him up to be sure he would wake up. He went back down and slept for a few hours. That was a long few hours! He woke up just fine, though. That night, he started favoring his right arm a good bit. We didn't really know if it was his shoulder or arm, but we thought something must be bothering him. He never acted like it hurt, though. I took him to his regular doctor Monday where his arm was xrayed, and his wrist had a break. The next day, we got in to see an orthopedic who put that sweet arm in a blue cast. Barrett was mad about it for a few minutes because he couldn't straighten his arm, but then he moved on with life. The first couple of days, he fell a lot because he was off balance, but he adapted pretty quickly to wearing it. He wore the cast two weeks, and this Tuesday it came off and he's in a splint for two weeks now. I later learned from Charlee that Barrett had climbed onto the top of the back of the chair and leaned, head first, into the screen. The screen popped out of place only on the bottom, so he fell through and landed on his face. He still has a bit of a scratch on his chin, and he had a scratch under his nose. It looks like his top tooth may have chipped the tiniest bit, too. There was a small scratch on his left shoulder, too. Chandler and I both agreed that we are so glad we didn't see the fall. We would've thrown up.

Scary stuff. Let me just say, though, that I have never had a peace come over me like I did that day. I am normally one to be pretty unstable during situations like this. Several years ago, a drunk guy on a bicycle ran into my car and busted out my windshield in a mall parking lot while I was driving, and I was hysterical. That's a different story altogether, though. Ha! All that I know to tell you is that God placed a calm on me that I've not experienced, and I knew from the moment I picked Barrett up that he was going to be alright. No fear. Only faith. Angels carried that sweet thing. I can try as hard as I may to control every aspect of my children's lives, but I am not in control of any of it. Not one second. God has entrusted these sweet babies to Chandler and me to protect them, guide them, teach them, and nurture them, but I better not for one second think that I am the only one supplying them with what they need. I fail at being a mother every day. I could beat myself up about not closing the window when the thought crossed my mind, or I could rest in knowing that somebody greater than I could ever even imagine has "got my back". My life is in His hands. Chandler's life is in His hands. Charlee's life is in His hands. Barrett's life is in His hands. Thank you, Jesus! I give it all to You, lay it all at Your feet. You are the only one who can supply us with all we need.